Signing Up For Kindergarten

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Think back to the day you filled in the forms for kindergarten. How did YOU feel?

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“It’s time to fill in the forms for Kindergarten.”
“But it’s January!”
“I know.”
“But he’s not even five yet. I can’t imagine…”
“I know!”

This was the conversation in our house last winter. OK, the conversation was mostly in my head, rather than with my husband, but it still happened. (What? After four years hanging out with young kids, you weren’t talking to yourself too?)

It’s not quite as bad as trying to picture what your one-year old will be like in nine months’ time, but I still had a hard time imaginging my four year old two full seasons from now. Even worse, the school offered a choice of sign-up options: half day, full day, half day with lunch bunch, before care, after care.

(I hate choices.)

Half day or full day? How to weigh his needs and my needs and his little brother’s needs, and oh yes my husband too, and do it all in a crystal ball looking nine months ahead?

We were in a period where my high-energy, structure-loving boy already viewed Time At Home as time to run headlong into his two year old brother, head-to-head if possible, and I just couldn’t see that getting any better. The thought of another year of long afternoons peeling them apart sent several shivers down my spine, and made my head ache in that ‘I’m about to explode’ kind of way. To be honest, if half day had finished at what I considered a reasonable time, I might have signed him up for it, but it finished at 11.30! 11.30? That’s solidly ‘morning’ in my book, and ‘before lunch’ besides. 11.30?

Besides, I reasoned, he’d be six by the middle of the year and where I come from (Scotland) kids that age are in their first full year of school, no discussion. (“Who cares what thirty years of scholarship might have told us about the relative values of early childhood versus academic programs? I did it, and so can he,” my brain shouted, drowning out the sling-wearing, breast-feeding, co-sleeping, natural childbirth voice that had been in charge until now.)

I was leaning heavily towards full-day kindergarten, based partly on my perception of A’s need for structure and stimulation, combined with his love of learning, and partly on the needs of the rest of the family: my need to recover from four years of trying to keep up with him full time, my husband’s need to not come home to a basket-case of a wife every day, and my younger son’s need to keep his head in one piece.

Of course, my insane four-year old turned five and promptly spent the summer mellowing and learning how to make his little brother laugh (and worship him just a little more, if that was possible), and becoming a delight to spend time with.

I think now that we would have survived quite nicely spending the afternoons together this year, but of course, we’ll never know because I had long ago ticked the box for “Full Day Kindergarten”, 8 am – 3 pm.

As I handed in the forms I felt hopeful, excited, and slightly sick. I was worried it was the wrong decision. I felt guilty about sending him all day, even though I was (almost) sure he would be ready for it. I was really nervous in a generalized sort of way and second-guessed myself every time I thought about my decision.

But I am, after all, a mother.

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QUESTION OF THE DAY
Think back to the day you filled in the forms for kindergarten. How did YOU feel?

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